Crucial

Because of recent abductions
In daylight hours, refresh yourself
of these things to do
in an emergency situation...
This is for you,
and for you to share
with your wife,
your children,
everyone you know.
After reading these 9 crucial tips,
forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful
in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point
on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you...
Chances are that he is more interested
in your wallet and/or purse than you,
and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy.
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars
after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
(doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc.
DON'T DO THIS!)
The predator will be watching you, and this
is the perfect opportunity for him to get in
on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
If someone
is in the car
with a gun
to your head
DO NOT DRIVE OFF,
Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead gun the engine
and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you.
If the person is in the back seat
they will get the worst of it .
As soon as the car crashes
bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body
in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting
into your car in a parking lot,
or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:
look around you,
look into your car,
at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat

B.) If you are parked next to a big van,
enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims
by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car
parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator
instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone
and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun
and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target)
4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying
to be sympathetic:
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle,
which is when he abducted
his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard
a crying baby on her porch the night before last,
and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door.'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax
women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,
but have had several calls by women saying that
they hear baby's cries outside their doors
when they're home alone at night.

10. Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle
of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a
burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your
outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and
then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors!
Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because
the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on
America 's Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better to be safe than sorry..

Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life

Divorce letter

Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever.I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me thatyou quit your job today and that was the last straw.Last week, you
came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your
favorite meal and even worea brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two
minutes, & wentstraight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You
don'ttell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
connects us as husband and wife.Either you're cheating on me or you don't
love me anymore; whateverthe case, I'm gone.
Your EX-HusbandP.S.
Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together!Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's truethat you and I have been married for
seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.I
watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whiningand
griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got ahair cut
last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a
girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anythingif you can't say
something nice, I didn't comment.And when you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because the $49.99price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidencethat my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
itout. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my joband
bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted. My lawyer saidthat the letter you wrote ensures
you won't get a dime from me. Sotake care.Signed,Your Ex-Wife,
Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl She had done a sex change surgery .
I hope that's not a problem.

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!
I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago,
I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and
uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was,
and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another and somehow I ended up
with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with
bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains
came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came
by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and
then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in
the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief!
Going through menopause is badenough without being a murder suspect!
I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

Go girl ! ! !

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED

To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you
and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

Dear God:

The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her.
Help her live her life to the fullest.
Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations.
Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most,
and let her know when she walks with you, She will always be safe.

Love you Sis/cousin/friend/daughters!!!!

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .



FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.



FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.


FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.


FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.


AND I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE crazy people I work with
BECAUSE they make work interesting and fun!

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE
THINKING OF ME.


Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

Concentrate on this Sentence

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'
When God takes something from your grasp,
He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence...

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'