Divorce letter

Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever.I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me thatyou quit your job today and that was the last straw.Last week, you
came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your
favorite meal and even worea brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two
minutes, & wentstraight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You
don'ttell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
connects us as husband and wife.Either you're cheating on me or you don't
love me anymore; whateverthe case, I'm gone.
Your EX-HusbandP.S.
Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together!Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's truethat you and I have been married for
seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.I
watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whiningand
griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got ahair cut
last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a
girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anythingif you can't say
something nice, I didn't comment.And when you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because the $49.99price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidencethat my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
itout. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my joband
bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted. My lawyer saidthat the letter you wrote ensures
you won't get a dime from me. Sotake care.Signed,Your Ex-Wife,
Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl She had done a sex change surgery .
I hope that's not a problem.